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Not Present for Past and Future

by Without Ceremony

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1.
I spent 4 long years sleeping with your silhouette The real thing might grow old but that hasn’t happened yet I still feel you when I rest When I walk in the room with her eyes cast on the floor My girlfriend says that she just does not get me anymore who is she what is this for? When I get the chance to submit to happiness I’ll take it without thought, but that time has not come yet I still need my medicine Constant visits from my friends body pillows on the bed All this humming in my head I still need you Evelyn She says she feels it breaking Why’d I make the choice I’m making? Would I throw away the future just to stitch up half my issues I know I’m supposed to make a change but why?
2.
I miss you in blue. Up and down the stairs, your flower pattern summer dress. The sheets a mess, vitriol mascara on your face turned red. Little smiles with all the harsh words we said. Tell you that I hate you but it's love instead. La vie est belle. In the kitchen, on the counter, over Billie Holiday. Cross-legged and bathed in sunlight. You think it never goes away, you're always gonna feel the same. Falling for the spit of someone I saw in a dream. Pulling on the threads to stitch together memories. Keeping something warm inside the soft spot in my mind. Waking up is difficult I know that things will change, I know.
3.
Though you tried to hide it, it still came clear. You don't have to worry, your secret is safe with me. Come to my room, no need for excuse, I have this box of memories - I'm as bad as you. I know sometimes it's hard to admit that you're weak for the spit of somebody that you barely know. Although it is easy just to hide, and lie, and pretend that there is nothing inside. Let's take the hard route together, the future's ours tonight. I will be anything you need. Please just allow me to be free and I will form a plan inside my dreams. Tomorrow I'll fix you a meal, while we deal with reality. And stitching up the bursting seams. Maybe there's a way to navigate this minefield of questions and get what we want. The future's ours tonight.
4.
First Light 01:01
I am so glad when I wake up with you. Every day that still feels true. Heavy breathing and the soft of your hair. Nervous smiles at the corners of my lips. A nervous smile at the corners of my lips. A nervous smile at the corner of my lips. A nervous smile at the corner of my lip. A nervous smile at the corner of my...
5.
Another Year 01:31
When I think about you, remind myself that we had lots of good times too. It used to be great, taking lots of trips and staying up real late. But now what are we supposed to do? Somehow we made one past out of two. But everything is changing you feel like you're fading and all the dreams are dying away. All the dreams are dying, The good times they are dying, We feel our old selves dying, I'm trying my best and dying, I spread my wings and dying, I shut my mouth I'm dying, I swear to god I'm dying You look away I'm dying To miss you feels like dying Another year of dying Don't leave me now I'm dying But somehow I keep trying
6.

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released March 31, 2011

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Without Ceremony Chiang Mai, Thailand

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